Here Firesiding

I hold my hands open for the fire
and let its light face my palms
like a stare, transparent heat flicking and
flaming. Why are you here?

Its soundless questions grow close,
shrink far in an instant, consuming,
it wraps itself around its reach
burning. Who are you?

The song from our cooler darkness
rises and falls with our confidence.
A harmony dances in the smoke
picking guitar strings. What-

is it? The trees start to breathe
beneath far away stars and
I’m standing on embers which
glow in the dark and it’s

rising and falling inside me.
My heartbeat, the part of me deep
sometimes writhing or peaceful
or fighting or hiding or

here firesiding. I see the eternal glow
in eyes connected to Heaven.
I almost fall in the immensity
of existence. This fireside-

Endless, endless sky,
timeless light drifting through space
and my eye is too small to approach
light so bright. I hold my gaze

open to the fire and let
what’s inside face it. It echoes,
Where have you been, child
of light? Growing closer and closer

Consumes me.

Leaving St. Andrews 

Salty sea, the feeling of numb arms and legs

 excited lungs, It washes in and out all the time.

I see it through the breathing trees. 

I’m thinking about this town and its heartbeat, 

This kingdom, its golden fields and battered cliffs.

How many stones have I stepped on?

Thoughtfully looking as rain fell 

Into rippling streets. 

How many sunsets lured me from market street 

To the bough over West Sands 

with the wind and the seagulls. 
I wandered through strange trees 

And found myself in many woods, 

Branches hanging low over a growing brook 

As my feet dangled, I waited for something to find me

And know me by that place. 

I sprinted across vast spaces 

And hid amongst the trees. 

I whisper into the mist, ‘I made the most of you.’ And I disappear 

Because this town follows the hand of a clock, 

Changing lives as the Cathedral waits 

For the new faces to fill the old rooms 

The same desks, doors, floors, 

New elbows, hands, feet.

Fresh faces will flood the same streets 

We ‘experienced ones’ depart from. 
I pause today 

And think about time

How every minute the old me 

Becomes a little more like a stranger. 
We will be swept in the flurry of the present 

But I don’t want to race from this kingdom and forget 

Its nightless summers, bitter winters, long walks, secret streets, 

The way the trees bow over the water 

And everything makes way for that winding river

Which breathes with the sea 

And floods in the rain 

Which can last weeks. 

The har makes the steps before you 

Lost. 

The sky so huge it’s almost beneath you. 

I lay on the sand with my arms widespread 

And watched the clouds spin beneath me, 

And the waves crash above me. 

I waited on the surface,

Tumbled and battered by white horses. 

I spent countless moments 

Watching horizons and waiting for answers. 
I catch my breath as time moves on. 

This place is already a memory, 

And I will step into the place my hopes reside, 

Knowing that I tasted sea air,

And heard its softest call. 

Wonderer

The air between us is breathed in the same way,
Out and in. But the world,
So different. Like two sides of a sea.
One has life,
The other is barren.
And you imagine life to be imagined,
A figment.
While I see heavens.

The questions you ask,
I sometimes see as attack
But the truth is there is wonder in your eyes
When you contemplate God
And you don’t know him yet
Or his ways
Or his love.

Some do attack
But some do wonder.
And it is the wonderers who belong
To the place where wonder
Never ceases.

See the LORD works in ways counter cultural
To the way we identify our needs
In the world.
He doesn’t take us at our nature,
But at our potential.
He asks that we give everything
Every fibre of our wishes and
Self-identity,
To be remade, transformed
Healed, restored, made-whole,
To become a new being
Breathing light,
Finding hope,
Seeing Heavens.

You point your finger,
Curious wonderer,
At me and you say
‘How can you call that love?’
When you seek more than anything
A love that lasts
And doesn’t fade,
And you hope that my answer
Will convince you
So that you can believe
And discover the something different
In me and the light in my eyes.

And I tell you, the reason for that,
Is the countless times
I have given what I wanted
To Him
And got better instead.

See beyond.
Just try to imagine
There is more than what you see
And touch
And hear.

Beautiful wonderer. If you were trained to see,
As I am,
You would not miss
The powerful pursuit.
You are being hunted
By the almighty
And his desire for you
Is fulfilment.

And his plan is much bigger than that.
He longs for his children
To find their true identity
In him
And build a kingdom
Which is worthy
Of being his bride.
An equal.
A beauty.
A partner.
To restore the Earth.

Beautiful wonderer,
There are tears in my eyes
When I think about you
When I’m on my own.
And how you are not yet safe
In his arms.
And my prayers
Are a plea
That he’ll rescue you
From the lie you are in the midst of.
That there is no true love
And that something must be out there
But it can’t be my God.
That death is the end.
So we should all live life
As happily as we can
As ourselves
And change for no one.
Can’t you see
That is the reason
For so much pain
In the world?

I can tell you this
If every single person
In the world
Followed God,
With all that they have,
The true God I know,
People would be loved
No one would be lonely
Sickness would be overruled,
Everyone would share their harvest,
No one be misunderstood
Every marriage life-long, faithful,
Every death a ‘See you soon’.
Every job fulfilling,
Every friend uplifting,
Every sleep peaceful
Every day hopeful
Every dream important.

Wonderer,
Do not stop wondering
At the hand in the midst of the world.
And look with more than your eyes
And you will see.

Mist

I snatch a word from the air like a whisper
Slow. It festers and rubs like a blister
Though. And the word is ‘mist’ and it settles
On, The golden hue of the forgotten
Dawn.

The sleep train rattles like a snake in
Night. The people dread being awake in
Light. They hide their head behind opaque win-
Dows. And on and on the sleepy sleep train
Goes.

And all along their rusty track we
Dance. Light fire pits like an attack, one
Chance, Is all we need, one sleepy eye to
See, We’ll twist our forms to show a way that’s
Free.

Our eyes so focussed on the sparks and
Wood, We build our bodies so the parts are
Good. We so distracted, when the deep mist
Fell, they could not see us and we could not
Tell.

So through the fog the sleepy sleep train
Goes. Nobody sees and so nobody
Knows. Within the mist the fire dance goes
On, A terror bursts from what they see be-
Yond.

I snatch a cry from the train like a dying
Scream. The people wake from their dark sleep
Dream. The mist is shattered by the clari-
Ty. And no one living can rise from their
Knees.

An eye beams through the dawn that broke it
Down. The train has crashed and now the people
Drown. The dancers stopped, they’re crying through their
Shame. They beg forgiveness and they cry His
Name.

I snatch this word from the air like a whisper,
From the air like a cry, and I can’t forget that fire
Eye, and how the people die.
The word is ‘mist’, it must not settle on,
The golden truth of our forgotten Dawn.

Restless

Turning with the wind I asked it where am I going?
Looking to the sun, I asked it who will I be?
My fingers tracing stone walls
And puddles shining patterns
Of ruins back at me
I ask them what do I see?

All these days pacing and wandering and wondering
Who will I be when I wake from a dream?
All this time tracing ideas and then pondering,
What Heaven sounds like and how does it seem?

I look to the horizon
With endlessness my eyes on
A fixed point between atmosphere and sea,
It seems so distant to me.

Glimpse

I caught a glimpse of who I am.
The space between trees in the snap of bark.
But was it me at all?
I snatched it with my dreams,
And stretched it around me like a cloak.
The glittering on the water,
Birds taking flight together.
If I’d been slow, I wouldn’t have missed it.
It was in every breath as I was still.
The clouds opened above me,
Just for me, because I was the only one paying attention.
I caught a glimpse of who I am
As a stranger passed and I smiled.
When I was alone,
I took off,
Into the trees like a native.
Nobody knew I was a stranger.

Alone, I am at my least lonely.
That isn’t a plea for people who get me.
I am got by plenty.
Alone,
I am free.
For then I am with my creator without distraction.
It’s in looking up,
To notice how the sky peeks through leaves.
The world takes flight.
Like a collection of wings
Bright white like clouds
Joining the sky.

I caught a glimpse of who I am,
In the quiet breath nobody heard but him.
In the staring competition with a squirrel.
In the stillness of comforting a robin.
I have wide eyes that wait for dawn.
And he is the sun
I follow him through the day
Dancing on waters and faces.
A stranger passed and I smiled,
And in that moment,
They felt sunrays.
I am only a glimpse
The snap of the bark
Running through the trees.